Interlude: Navigating people traffic

Have you ever noticed that you don't bump into people or don't do the "dance" to avoid bumping into people coming the opposite way, when you look into their eyes when walking through a crowd?

Try it next time you are walking through a train station at rush hour or a busy shopping street (or anywhere busy with people for that matter)!

It must be the same mechanism in action that allows fighters (e.g. kung fu) who are really in tune with their discipline to predict what their opponent's next move is going to be by looking at their eyes. The eyes actually indicate what your next movement is going to be a split second before you make it!

I have been doing it for a few weeks now. I find that is doesn't work when:

• the other person is looking at their mobile phone, anything else they are carrying on themselves or anything else that is not on the path ahead of them.
• I am distracted by an "interesting" shop window, sign, another person, a landmark monument, the view  = anything else that is not on the path ahead of me. (Incidentally, I can't be distracted by my mobile, as I lost mine a few weeks ago...) Most of the time these distractions are just an excuse for avoiding eye contact!

NB: It is slightly more difficult when somebody is wearing sunglasses or walking along with other people talking to them.

I am also finding that:

• I am starting to recognise people coming the other way.
• I am noticing their or my schedule and thinking: "oh, I must be late, because yesterday I came across this person when I was half way across the bridge and not here" or "oh, they must be late, because...".
• If I don't pay attention to those around me, I may miss seeing someone I know walking right past me (and totally ignore them in the process).
• I am noticing the variety of and beauty in people, as well as their moods much more: there are actually a lot of happy people out there, but there are also grumpy- and sour-looking people (makes me wonder why they are so miserable that they have to show the world that they are so miserable - poor them! It must be really bad), and there are people who really do not want to look at you. 
• It is often the older men and women (though I am awful at guessing ages, probably those in their 80s and above) who appear shy and do not want to look you in the eye. This finding makes me a little sad. Maybe they are just trying to find their physical balance and trying not to trip or fall over, as one is of course more fragile at that age, but perhaps they feel too vulnerable when they look other people in the eye - more so than younger people. I feel that they are the "elders" of our society and should be respected and loved for that. If they were universally respected, they would feel proud to be the "elders" and I am sure they would be able to look me in the eye. 

Having said that, I went to a classical music concert this week (to see a very good friend of mine playing in the orchestra), and there were a number of "elders" in the foyer waiting with me, as well as sitting around me in the auditorium. They were much more approachable there and I had some lovely chats with people. 

This just shows how important the community and the feeling of being part of it, being connected, is ... certainly one of my next topics in the "concrete jungle" series of posts....